Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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