how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My life is pants optional.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
