Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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