it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
