Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
