I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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