Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
