So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she smelled like a LAN party
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
