He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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