Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
