If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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