I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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