just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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