A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
