you mean i was at the winter classic?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
