hell yes lets make some ravioli
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
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