he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
