At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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