Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
