My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
