So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
