I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
