This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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