why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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