I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
