I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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