She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
we should paint friendship bongs
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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