I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
