Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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