i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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