Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Floor bacon is actually really good
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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