She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We need to get me chipped asap
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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