you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
