Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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