Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
