I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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