Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
