enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize