Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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