What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
