Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
