You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
