he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
