i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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