As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize