Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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