Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize