No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
