I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
