Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
