New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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