As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
