Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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