A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didn't shave. On purpose
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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