I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
