Yo dont text me then not text me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
