Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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