But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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