Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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