hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
