is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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