yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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